This last week we haven’t been updating our blog much. Let’s call it our “March break”. I don’t see many updates in the near future either.
This weekend has been one of great emotions. On Saturday I remember sitting at the table finishing my breakfast and watching the kids playing and watching cartoons. I mentioned to Chris that it was the most heart-filling vision to see and I was excited that next year we would be adding another baby to our family. The next day, Sunday during church I noticed that I had quite a bit of bleeding. I went immediately to the hospital and Chris followed after he made arrangements for the kids.
After some tests and an ultrasound the doctor told us that there was no heartbeat. They sent us home and said that I would “pass” the baby in the next 24-48 hours and to come back in the morning to do some more tests. Little did I know what “pass” actually meant. The hours to follow were excruciatingly painful – physically and emotionally. I think the hardest part was seeing Chris, that he was unable to do anything to help – other than watch the kids – and I was not able to relieve him so he could grieve. We were thankful to put the kids to bed that night and spend time embracing each other and what the days ahead would bring.
Today we spent most of the day in the hospital…waiting. Waiting for an ultrasound, bloodwork and to go in for a D&C. The day seemed to pass fairly quickly for me but I think it was hard for Chris. All of this has been harder on Chris. He has been the one to support me, find care for the kids and care for the kids when it was just us home. I don’t think he has had much time to process it all.
We are so thankful to Pastor Don and his wife Laurie and our friends Ann and Sandra and her daughter Jordan for helping with the kids while we were at the hospital. I am amazed and blessed by the church family we have here in Summerside.
Please know that we are completely comfortable with questions. Our belief is that we share the pregnancy early so that if something like this were to happen we would have the support around us. You may get the same answer, “I am doing well, today” but it is genuine.
It is amazing that a tiny life, that we’ve never met, has had such an impact on us the last 24 hours. Through all of this we are so thankful to have two healthy children. And we know that our little one is safe in Jesus’ hands until we are reunited again. In all of this we know that God has a plan. We don’t fully understand but we choose to glorify Him in all circumstances.
Through it all I have been comforted by several scriptures:
I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
Psalm 40:1-3 (When I was in the Emergency waiting room I was desperately looking for a scripture and this is what I came across)
I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 18:1-2 (Given to me by my wonderful sister)
I hope that these passages can also encourage others going through hard times.